Day Forty-seven: Strike!

No, no one is going on strike. It's that lovely time of the performance process where we have to put everything back. Little by little, class by class, we took apart the haunted house, packed stuff up, and put the woodshop back together. It's funny how they at first whine that they have to clean up but then end up working really hard and getting a ton done. I thought it would take us two days, but we finished in four class periods.

Since we were done by 6th and most of the class was absent, I did the kids makeup for Halloween. I have one student that when I ask him something he shakes his head and says nothing. I've started encouraging him anyway, then waiting for him to follow through. Usually it's something like "Hey, can you come join us?" Head shake. I smile. I wait. He wanders for a moment and then sits down. We get to work. Although my 6th period boys really like to wander out the door and pretend I can't see them in the hallway (I watch their little journey) until they wander back in thinking that they've been so sneaky.

This morning we announced student of the month awards. I warned the other teachers not to fall over. The principal opened the bottle of soda I had in my hand and sniffed it to make sure I wasn't drinking. Nope. Yes, I gave it to the girl who hated me and my class at the beginning of the semester, who has told me she hates school and only comes to see her friends. Lately she's been helping a lot with the haunted house, asking to come to my class to help. Unfortunately she wasn't at school to accept it. So I'm holding on to it for when she returns.

Day Forty-six: Boo

Achieved the seemingly impossible. How long can a haunted house last at an alternative high school? 5 minutes? 2 minutes? How about over an hour. I am so proud of my students. No, it wasn't perfect. Not everyone got scared. The first two or three groups through were pretty bumpy. But they got into a rhythm. We had the students come in three at a time. Easy to track students in and out. I stayed in the first room, while one of the math teachers stayed with the students in the second room.

One of my students I was especially impressed with. He really got into it and created this whole character for himself. He snuck around with this ragged costume over him, with a super creepy voice. He was having so much fun. After about 45 minutes, I had the students take a short break to switch out another group that had signed up. He was planning on not coming back. I said, "Aw man, you're the best thing that's in there right now." And I meant it. I told him he was doing a really great job. Guess who came back and ended up working in the haunted house the entire time? :)

Day Forty-five: Are we there yet?

Technology, I will defeat you. Or at least bring you over to the dark side. Tonight I figured out how to download Youtube videos using Safari. I found a clip of TV static that we're adding to the haunted house after an idea a few of my students came up with today.

I think today was a bit of an ARD circus. I was scheduled to be at one during a class. So another teacher agreed to go for me (it was that or cover my class). Then I was asked to go to an ARD for another teacher who was scheduled for one during her class, until it started way too late and another teacher was pulled in to cover for me during 6th.

1st period we went into the cafeteria to hang up some decorations. The boys had their hearts set on stapling rings of orange and black construction paper together. I had put it in the storage room in my classroom. They pulled it out and brought it to the cafeteria, when they lifted it out, a HUGE spider ran out from under it. My one girl that is new in the class jumped on a bench. The custodian in the room ran away. Yes, I jumped up on the bench too. Still gives me the heebie jeebies. Unfortunately for the spider, its time came to an end and it is no longer running free in the school.

2nd period I grabbed some newspapers, paper towels, paint, and a few pairs of boots another teacher found in their room and had the students turn them into severed legs. I never thought I would do this kind of stuff. Two weeks ago I thought I wouldn't be able to handle fake blood. Now my students show up and I say, "Hey, lets make some severed limbs. Wooooo!"

3rd period we made more guts and fake hands with jello and paper towels. I love seeing the stack of hands in the fridge in the teachers lounge. The students went through costumes to find something to wear tomorrow and I laughed as they tried on some really ridiculous outfits. I told the kids that since they are in the class and in the haunted house, they could borrow any costume for free, as well as get their makeup done. Everyone else gets to donate a dollar.

4th and 6th we added more finishing touches, making fake spiders to hang from the ceiling and drop on people, then painting "Help me" with red paint and fake blood on the window between the two rooms. We managed to keep everything together even though we had a fire drill during 6th. I had everyone wash their hands off before the alarm was supposed to go off (we were making bloody handprints of course). Can you imagine kids running around outside with red paint all over their hands? Oh the disaster.

Well tomorrow is showtime. Either we'll get shut down in the first few minutes, or it will be a ton of fun. Fingers crossed.

Day Forty-four: Burned out

1st period we focused mostly on setup. Asking them to help lay out some butcher paper and tape it together was like asking them to solve the economic crisis. But eventually they played along. Those boys.

Jackson Pollock. Yes, I introduced my students to a famous artist in 2nd period so we could create blood spatter with different shades of red and brown. It was so fun I was almost gleeful.

My O5 ringleader came to 3rd again and helped out. I heard her in the hallway talking about leaving after lunch before class (which she is allowed to do). I was really hope to be able to work with her during 5th, maybe talk to her more one-on-one. So I pulled out the jello, latex gloves, and pantyhose to have 3rd help out with it instead. When she walked in and saw, she was disappointed and said, "I thought I was going to help you..." "I was planning on it, but you said you were leaving." So she stayed through 3rd and helped me make fake guts and helped a few other students with other decorations. At the beginning of the semester, the only motivation she had to go to school was to be able to hang out with her friends. She stayed through 4th period and continued to help. Not sure where she disappeared to after.

A few students came during my 5th period conference and helped with setup. They like to think that they're my crew now.

Had an equipment failure today. I bought a strobe light for the haunted house, which flashed once and never again. Grrr. So lame when a brand new light burns out.

Day Forty-three: Cover me!

One of my students in 2nd that normally does okay totally shut down today. When I tried to see what was up, he finally said, "You wouldn't understand." The look on his face was so sad.

Today my supervisor and several other teachers were in a meeting with some district bigwigs, so I covered his 5th period class during my conference again. This time though, I was able to go over to the computer lab and they could still do their own work. One student that I have 1st period was hard at work the entire time. Struggles to stay awake in my class. Maybe it's just too early for him? :) It was good to see him plugging away on his own. My O5 ringleader came to my 4th and 6th period classes (She's on half days and could have gone home). She even followed me when I went to cover 5th period. I was able to distract some of the other kids by looking at Halloween decorations online that could be used in the haunted house. Remember when she hated me? These kids just need to know that you're not going anywhere and that they can always come back.

P.S. When working on an assignment where you plan on turning the lights out, set clear expectations of when the lights can be turned off. It's amazing no one was sent to the nurse/hospital.

Day Forty-two: No, it's mine

1st period has joined the haunted house train. They now want it to be their baby instead too. Hilarious. So they helped move all the extra boxes of books to book storage, moved desks to the art room, and moved the platform stage pieces over to the woodshop. Those kids definitely got their workout for the day.

2nd and 3rd period is in now too. They helped cover the hallway windows to block out lights, moved equipment to the storage room, and started coming up with plans for the pathway. An even nicer surprise were the students who asked to come to my class today, including the O5 ring leader that I've been trying to get back in my class. I just laugh at how much has changed. Students that yelled at me at the beginning of the year are actually being more respectful. I even have students apologize when they swear in front of me, not because it's against the school rules, but because they've learned that I don't like profanity. And they told me you couldn't expect these kids to learn to be respectful. I'm just that stubborn and that hopeful.

Oh, and 3rd period has decided to make fake body parts.

4th period is going to find sound effects.

6th is going to work on more visual effects.

Day Forty-one: Game on!

So earlier this week I was a little disappointed when my 6th period bailed on the haunted house. They were overwhelmed, thought it wouldn't get done in time, etc. I was a little disappointed on the lack of follow through, but figured we could focus on Halloween makeup and things would work out.

Then at the assembly at the end of lunch the principal mentioned something about being aware that I'll be setting up for the Halloween party next week and for teachers to not send too many students to me. I said it was fine as long as they call me first. Then he mentioned that I would also be busy with the haunted house. Eeek! I said it wouldn't be happening after all. As I walked down the hall with my 4th period, they got upset that the haunted house was off. "We'll do it." Say what? So I ran with it. We started making plans as they went ahead and created fake wounds for grades (after a week of practicing). Then when I was walking through the hallway between 4th and 5th I saw one of my students from 6th and told them what happened. "Oh no, it's ours, we're taking it back." Mhmmm. I thought so. Once they all found out that 4th wanted to take it, they were back in.

Day Forty: Exhaustion

I am so grateful for adrenaline. Another two classes at 3+ hours a piece. I've been going to bed earlier (either I'm getting old or turning into a teacher), but last night I just couldn't sleep. I think I got 2, 3 hours if I'm lucky.

I started off the morning by slitting my throat. I wish I would have taken a picture. It was so gross. Lesson I learned? Using nose and scar wax on a moving body part is not the best plan. It started pulling away from my neck before lunch, so I had to take it off. Shame.

First period was definitely a test from a classroom management standpoint. I had extra kids again, but no extra teacher on hand. I told the kids that if they were going to be there, they had to follow two rules:

1. Don't break anything.

2. Keep the back door locked. If it opened, the first time it opened, everyone not in my class would have to leave and go back to their regular class. (It becomes impossible to keep track of students who come in and leave when that door is open).

Turned out a nearby room was being used to test and could hear everything that was going on. First I got a phone call and then someone actually walked over to my room. They were struggling to keep their talking at a reasonable volume. Of course they won't talk that loud when in front of people, only when talking to someone right in front of them. Amazing! So with about 30 minutes left, I saw the door open, and promptly kicked them all out. I called to the office to warn them there would be a bunch of kids in the halls heading back to class. They were bummed, and even the good ones had to go. The result? When the second class came, and the students asked to come, I told them the two rules, then added a third about volume since testing was still happening. First they freaked out when anyone new went toward the door. Since the earlier students had seen me follow through, and didn't want to go back, they were quick to keep in line on that one. Then the volume went up again. I walked across the room, turned all the lights on to get their attention, and let them know the volume was getting too high. Then as soon as the lights were dimmed the volume went right back to where it was. Immediately turned them back on and pointed out what had happened. Dimmed them again and got back to work making wounds for students. After about 20 minutes, the volume started heading up. Without saying a word I moved towards the switch and they all shushed each other. It was hilarious.

Most entertaining conversation of the day happened right after that:

Student: Yeah, no one listened to the art teacher last year.

Me: Wait, so some students are actually doing what I ask?

Student: Yep.

I told them if they want to come back tomorrow, they need to donate $1 for a bruise, or $2 to get a laceration as a fundraiser to cover the cost of supplies. Then my students can earn points for each bruise and laceration they do. No mula, no visit. Muahahahaha.

Day Thirty-nine: Best Conference Ever

Today I had my best conference period ever. What did I do you ask? Teach for three hours. Since I'm still taking students from another teacher, I had a room full of students to work with.

I started out the morning with a different type of fake gash across my face. It didn't take long before students who've never been in my class before came up to me and said, "Can I come to your class today?" Mwahahahaha. A few of the girls that came this morning asked if they could actually be in my class. You say that now. Hopefully they'll feel the same way once they get in. I spent the first hour or so teaching and letting the students practice, then turned on a movie in the background while I put lacerations and bullet wounds on anyone that wanted one. One student that came did the most awesome black eyes. He's got skills. Here are a few from this morning:

Then at lunch I had even more students ask if they could come to my class. "Ask your teacher." I think in the end I had at least 10-15 extra students on top of the class I was covering. Thankfully, a few teachers came with their students, while another teacher gave up her conference period as well and helped do bruises and lacerations. It was awesome. I taught and helped the students for the first hour, then applied wounds for the next two hours nonstop. Other students stepped in and helped, many of them not in my class. I think I'll have my students create wounds for a grade on Friday, and let other students come to get fake wounds as a fundraiser. 50 cents for a bruise. Maybe a dollar for a wound with latex. $2-3 for anything with putty (larger cuts and bullet wounds). Then use the money to replace supplies so we can do more at the Halloween party next week. Here is another sample from the last half of my crazy day:

It made me happy to see the kids happy. Tomorrow will probably be another crazy day. I'll probably need to limit how many extra students I take on tomorrow, but as long as I have an extra teacher around to lend a hand, bring it on!

Day Thirty-eight: Secret Weapons

I came in this morning with a plan and a lot of hope. Two classes. Three hours each. Lunch in between. No conference period. Extra students in one class due to testing. Here is how I looked at the end of the day:

No, it wasn't a bad day. No, the students didn't beat me up. I actually had a pretty awesome day. I just couldn't help myself taking a picture of my work. I'm teaching my students how to make fake wounds. I decided to do one on myself before school started to try to get the students excited about class today. Mission accomplished. I walked into the cafeteria, and the students kept asking, "Who beat you up?!" When they found out that it was not only fake, but that I was going to teach them how to do it, they thought it was so cool. (And a lot of them thought I was crazy). Below are some examples of my work, as well as some of my students:

Gunshot Wound

Laceration

Only got a few pictures today, and hoping for more tomorrow. I was really impressed with some of my students, and it was cool to see them excited to try somethings new, even if it was a little scary at first.

When I was in college, I was afraid to do these. The fake blood totally grossed me out. But it's awesome with these kids. "I want a gunshot wound too!" Hilarious. I think what fascinated me the most was the other students visiting my class today. I was so concerned about them before class started. It's not their class, their teacher, or their subject. But every kid that was stuck in my class tried everything out and was having more fun than my own students. Spread the word folks. My class is awesome!

Day Thirty-seven: Get Creative

Staff Development day. I originally thought I would not post for today. A day full of meetings? Not the most exciting thing to read about. But...this morning I received a most wonderful email. The field trip I've been planning all semester for next month is now paid for...and not by us.

Thanks to some really awesome donors, the Blanton Museum of Art is paying for our field trip. How did this happen? I've been researching every possible angle of fundraising and what to do with the kids on the field trip. I knew we'd go to a show, but while on campus I'd hoped we'd have a chance to do a little more. See the stadium? Maybe a museum? Then I found this wonderful tidbit here:

"The Blanton Art Access program seeks to increase K-12 student access to the museum by offering funding for transportation and tour fees on a first-come, first-served basis to students in Austin ISD, Del Valle ISD, Hay Consolidated ISD and Manor ISD and other schools who demonstrate need. To learn more about this opportunity email tours@blantonmuseum.org."

And they had an opening for a tour the same day. And they still have funding. Admission? Covered. Buses? To be reimbursed. Total cost of field trip? $0.

Insert happy dance here.

The principal told me I could do it if I came up with the money. Done and done. And yes, he almost did a happy dance with me.

I called the museum to thank them. These students don't get these types of opportunities often, and it totally made their day to find out what they were making possible.

Day Thirty-six: Wait, what?

Today a phrase came out of my mouth that I NEVER expected to say. Remember the ring leader of the O5ers? The girl who has hated me all semester? Who has walked out, talked back, ditched, yelled, complained and basically doesn't want to be in school let alone my class?

I walked into the office after school today and asked, "Can you put her back in my class?"

How did this happen you ask? It started after I mentioned to the AP earlier today that I had seen her in the halls between classes, but she had not been going to her classes. I found out later that they had tracked her down and she was with some one from central administration. They brought her to my class 6th period as we were setting up the cafeteria for the football game. She actually helped a little before we all went over to the woodshop to brainstorm and organize for the haunted house. When she found out what we were doing, the light went on. She started talking about how we could make it so much better than the high school, throwing out ideas left and right and helping map out the path for people to walk. Then when she found out about using it as a fundraiser for the field trip she got more excited. She even started suggesting other things we could do to raise money. I told her if she stayed around and kept on doing what she was doing, I would do everything I could to make sure she could come.

Then after the bell rang I went to change the attendance since she had arrived late, only to see that she was no longer on my roll. That's when I went up to the office. I found the principal in the hallway and told him I wanted her back in my class. After all, she was actually expressing interest in being a part of things. I'm not sure how long it tool for him to stop laughing. He sent me to talk to the AP and counselor about it. That's when I found out they were trying her out on a shorter day to see how she did. He said it would be at least a week before she would be able to come back, at the soonest. He gave me the contact info for the woman who was working with her over at central administration. So I called her and said, "I want her back in my class." I found out this girl thinks no one wants her. We're going to see how Tuesday goes when the students return and see what she thinks. I asked her to let the girl know that I want her in my class and specifically requested to have her there. She has so much more creativity than she gives herself credit for. And she's a born leader. One of those people that if we can reach will probably go out and change the world. We just need to reach her.

Day Thirty-five: Sit. Stay.

Somehow convinced my first period boys to help clean up the lab and pack up all the costumes. With the room being used for TAKS testing, and costume racks still needing to be built, I needed some serious help. A few of the boys sat down about half-way through, while one of the boys kept going. It's really been fascinating to watch the change in his behavior. He's been pretty consistent wanting to do his work because he wants to graduate.

The student I mentioned yesterday came and tried to hide in my class again this morning. I let him for a few minutes before I sent him off to SMARTS. He feels like he's never getting out. I went later in the day and talked to one of the teachers in charge of SMARTS. I asked her how he was doing and expressed my concern for him. She said he was having a rough day. He has the mentality of a street kid. We made a deal that everytime he has a good day in there, we'd let him come to my class at the end of the day. Here's to hoping!

Day Thirty-four: To serve and protect

This morning I found out they are using the room attached to the woodshop for TAKS testing next week. My kids are going to stress when they find out that they can't be in there next week setting up the haunted house. Problem solving time!

Somehow I managed to distract my 1st period boys long enough to start the next project. At first I said we were going to take a break from the decorations, which they quickly jumped on to say they should have a free day. Funny. No, just a break from this to do something else. It really is hard to keep a straight face with them sometimes. One of my students has still been out for close to two weeks, since the day the principal pulled him out. I hope he's okay.

Second period led to one of the nicest things I've ever heard a student say. I've got a student in my 6th period that gets thrown into SMARTS a lot. In a fight or flight situation, he often takes off to keep himself from fighting. He wanders into my class often when he gets upset. When he showed up before class started, I asked who his teacher was. Another elective, so I knew there would not be a problem. I called over and asked if he could work in my class, just to cover my bases. When he got a little worried at the start of class when I was calling, I said, "Hey, it's okay, go ahead and have a seat." When we're trying to do something, I try to tell him when the reason behind it is to keep him out of trouble. Which is often. For example, if he's in my room, he's not in the hall getting in trouble for ditching. When he's there during a different period, I remind him that if he's in class he needs to work. Later, I saw him in the lunch line with another student. He turned to the other student and said, "She's like my mom. She actually cares."

Day Thirty-three: You did what??

Another happy dance today. Literally. I was in such a good mood today I had kids ask me, "Why are you so happy?" At another point I actually caught myself dancing a little as I walked across the room.

Am I the only one who feels like I've been behind? Maybe that's why my posts have been shorter lately, and I've had a harder time keeping up, remembering what's happened, and feeling prepared. Today I felt renewed. I approached my classes with a renewed joy and enthusiasm.

The next project? Superheroes. I created a worksheet for design ideas for the students here. We're starting with designing masks for the students superhero ideas on paper (at least two). Next they are going to use facepaint to paint their favorite idea on their own or someone else's face. I tried a homemade recipe for facepaint tonight. One part water, one part cold cream, two parts cornstarch, a few drops of food coloring. Here's to hoping it washes off their faces.

My first period boys are plugging away making decorations for the Halloween Party. One was catching up on a previous assignment, but he was making progress today. The other three were stapling together rings of black and orange paper. It's long enough to reach halfway around the cafeteria now. They've developed this strange obsession with making it.

Second period I had another pleasant surprise. Remember the kid that used to fight me all the time that I had to ignore to get him to come around? He sat down today and turned to me and said, "I need help." I can't tell you what music that is to a teacher's ear. I know a lot of people are nervous about asking for help, but it is often only then that you can teach someone. I mean, why would we be trying to tell students how to do things they already know? He was so proud of himself when he finished the assignment and I told him how many points he'd earned today. He jumped right in to start the next project.

By 3rd period, I was walking around like I had the coolest job in the world. And then I noticed something magical. One of my students that hasn't been working in weeks, that I have tried everything I could think of to help, on his own, started working. I'm not exactly sure what changed, or what clicked. Last week, he told me that art and theatre wasn't his thing and that he didn't want to do anything. Guess what else? He's SO excited about superheroes. When I mentioned that for a warmup we were going to list off super powers that we thought were cool, he almost jumped out of his chair and said, "Oh I've got a lot of those." He's looking forward to when he catches up and can start on his superhero.

At lunch I talked to the principal about the field trip I wanted to do next month. He gave me the go ahead as long as I raised the money to pay for the buses. He also approved the haunted house and said we could use the woodshop if we moved stuff around. Time to get to work fundraising.

4th period I had a student get really anxious. The other students get really loud and it was upsetting him. He hadn't been feeling well, so I let him go to another class instead to work on stuff. While they are a little loud and crazy, most of the students in that class are getting better at working on their assignments. The rewards I've set up seem to be helping to motivate them.

6th period never ceases to crack me up. One of my students that I've struggled a lot with this semester came down the hallway late to class loudly saying something about not wanting to come to class and the class sucking. Within a few minutes, he was leading everyone else out of class over to the woodshop to start brainstorming ideas. I laughed and said, "I thought this class sucked." "Not today!"

Day Thirty-two: Holiday?

Whether because they didn't know or didn't care, today was NOT a day off in our district. Some of my classes had more than half the students missing. The first half of the day was dead quiet. Of course it got louder in 4th period. Those kids. Hilarious.

During my last class, I had a girl walk up to me after she got back from going to the restroom. She said, "Can I ask you a personal question?" She then went on to talk about a situation with someone she was dating and was hoping for some advice on what to do. I thought it was so sweet. She's even one of my newer students. Maybe I'm learning to earn their trust?

Two more students completed their first half-credit today. And yes, I brought their slips to their 5th period classes and did a little celebratory happy dance.

Day Thirty-one: One down, hopefully thousands to go

Today was our assembly performance. We had an extra kid today beg to be in the skit, so we made him the security guard. When I got in his face onstage and screamed "Let's take this outside!" the kids laughed so hard. Later one of my kids said, "Miss, you are a good actress." Apparently I do white trash pretty well. Hope I don't typecast myself. The kid who played my son was awesome. It was a little disappointing that the kids watching got really loud and talked through the whole assembly.

Also today...my first student completed my class! Yes, you should be giving her a standing ovation. She only needed one semester to finish her fine arts requirement. I'll have another student next week done with the entire year. How you ask? He did everything. Completed every assignment. Performed in every assembly. Telling students about this seems to be helping to motivate them. When they find out how many points I gave the students today, they shout, "Man, I need to do an assembly!" Yes. Yes you do.

Day Thirty: Anybody there?

Missing quite a few students today. I think half my class was gone in 6th period. Where is everyone? I'm pretty sure I have a student in jail, and a few others suspended for fighting.

I started off the morning a little freaked out about tomorrow. I'm supposed to have a skit from my kids for the assembly tomorrow, and I had NOTHING. A few kids had expressed interest, but I didn't have time yesterday to go over anything with anyone. During 2nd, I was showing one of the students the powerpoint another teacher is sharing tomorrow about bullying so we'd have a frame of reference. At that point I wasn't sure if I'd have anyone else. We started listing off ideas, until we came up with doing a fake talk show. By the end of lunch, I had four students planning on coming during my 5th period conference to practice a skit. I have no idea how it will turn out tomorrow, but we had so much fun. One guy is going to be the talk show host. Another a kid that's been bullied. Another that's a bully...and I'm going to be his mom. A girl is going to be a principal at the school. We may or may not have choreographed a fight at the end, and I may or may not have taught the girl how to pull hair on stage. I was hoping she would pretend to pull mine, but we couldn't justify it. So I'm pulling hers.

Day Twenty-nine: Dreams deferred

Today I saw my cell phone go off during my conference period, so I answered. It was the last call I expected. It was from a school in NYC, wanting to interview me to teach drama at a K-8 public school in Brooklyn. Six months ago, that was my dream, the biggest dream I could imagine. Today that dream was directly in front of me... and I turned it down. I have a job. It's a hard job. But it became my new dream. And I couldn't imagine leaving these kids. My last class could tell something was up, so I told them the truth. "You should take it!" they shouted. I told them I couldn't. So many people have let them down and left them. I was not going to do the same thing.

This morning I bought some mini-peanut butter cups. The plan? Give them to students that were in their seats when the bell rang. Seemed to catch a few students attention. Hopefully I can start them building a better habit when they don't know if there is going to be a reward. Plus I wanted to put them in a good mood because they actually had to take notes today on color theory. I think the candy made them want to fight me less about it? Only two students all day didn't take notes, so I think that's a pretty successful day.

Day Twenty-seven: Morgues

No, not the ones that dead people are in. The kind that is a reference. In this case, for makeup design ideas. I had the students put together examples of different types of makeup designs and inspiration. It went over a lot better than I thought it would.

What I was thinking about a lot today was something that happened on Saturday. I went and talked to a group of BFAs and MFAs at the university I just finished at a few months ago. I shared experiences and answered questions. Part of me felt like a super hero. A little of me felt like what I feel most days teaching: a total fraud. I told them about how I had all these plans when I started, but over and over, I throw them out and start again. "Where do you get your ideas from?" one girl asked. I have no idea. Sometimes it's something a student says, sometimes I remember something I've tried before or I saw someone else do. And sometimes I pull it out of thin air. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it blows up in my face. But I keep coming back and try again. I told her that I feel like the students are needing another chance, and I might be the only one that can give them that. I, too, need to give myself that same chance as I try to figure out how to reach and teach these students.