Do you think I can make it?

It's been a long time, but I felt inspired to come back thanks to someone I know.  They always read these and don't realize how much their encouragement means to me.  So that brings me to the point of this post.

Having someone believe in you is sometimes all it takes.

I had a conversation with a student the other day.  He was here my first year, had really cleaned up his life, went back to the high school, but found his way back here again.  He got in trouble not too long ago after he made a bad choice to try to fix a bad choice.  Now he's back and really struggling.  The other teachers were talking about him at lunch, really concerned about the direction he was going.  He missed an entire week of testing last week which will delay graduation.  So I sat down next to him in the cafeteria yesterday morning and called him out.  "Do you really think I can make it?"  I asked him what he thought I would do if I didn't think he could make it.  "You'd leave me alone."  Exactly.  And for a moment he knew I believed in him.  I don't know what direction his life will go, but if I can believe in him, maybe he can too.

This post is dedicated to my biggest fan.  Thank you for believing in me.

Good things coming

Happy day!  This arrived today:

Thanks to some very generous and amazing people, and Donorschoose.org, the first of several boxes of MUCH needed supplies arrived today.  I have erasers!  It's the little things.  New scissors are backordered, but I'll have them in the next two weeks I think.  SO excited for those.

I'm super excited about how the project in my art class is going.  Inspired by pop art.  Focusing on positive/negative space.  The are making "self portraits."  First I gave them a box of junk mail and ads to go through.  I asked them to cut out words they felt described themselves, phrases that stood out, logos and labels of products they liked, etc.  They then covered a piece of paper with them.  After that they have the choice of using their silhouette or the shape of something important to them to cut out part of it and have a positive and negative version of it.  One would have words on the silhouette with a white background.  The other the words were around a white silhouette.  They've really been having fun with this, and showing off some of what they are able to find.  Then last night an idea popped into my head.  Tomorrow I'm going to try it out so I'll let you know how it goes.  Basically we're going to turn this project into a performance art piece.  Get excited.

My last theatre class of the day has been an interesting journey.  I had a little bit of a power struggle with a student today.  I ended up doing Columbian Hypnosis.  After I asked them how they felt being the leader as well as the follower.  It was very telling when a student said, "I didn't want to do it, but I felt like I had to."  We had a great discussion about where this activity came from and then we played The Great Game of Power.  I just used four chairs.  I asked them to arrange them so one chair had power over the other three.  They took turns, then I pushed them to come up with even more ways.  Then one of the students started analyzing what the chairs represented without me even bringing it up.  It was amazing.  This guy is a genius and has never even taken theatre before.  He just makes those connections on his own.  Then something really fascinating happened.  One of the students put all the chairs on their side, and said, "There, now no one has any power."  He wasn't being defiant.  He was just being matter of fact.  It was such a clear insight into how this kid is feeling about life.  He feels completely powerless, but he doesn't show it because of the world he has to survive in.  So even though we were having fun with improv this week I think I'm going to stay with this a little longer and do some image work to show them ways to express ideas physically and then how to use those images to come up with solutions.

 

Give it a chance

I am so incredibly grateful today for how things are going this year.  I went into the office to thank the principal and counselor for giving me separate classes this year.  It's been amazing.  I have a few students that have ended up in Theatre only because that was the class period they had open and they needed a fine arts class.  Thank goodness!  I really owe my supervisor for going to bat for me to help make it happen.

In my 6th period, I have a few students that came to improv last year and then I have a new student that had no idea what theatre was.  Today we did a warm up, then I showed them some Whose Line is it Anyways? and let them decide which improv game they wanted to try.  Next thing I knew, he was totally into it, helping create a scene and going all out.  It was so much fun and so amazing.  By the end of class we had a long list of ideas for projects they want to do.  I was so proud of them.  It's one of the best moments of teaching--watching students step up and get excited about what they are going to do next.

Starting Over

I have been gone for way too long.

Today was the beginning of year three.  It was the best first day of school I've ever had.  A little boring for the kids I'd have to say since I had to go over expectations, the syllabus, and all the fun stuff about how things work.  But they seemed open and willing.  It was so wonderful to see so many of my students again.  I missed them so much!

The biggest change about this year is that (so far, fingers crossed) I have separate classes for Art and Theatre.  Separate classes!!  This is huge.  As a result, I can focus on each so much better, while still drawing inspiration from one to inform the other.

I sometimes think I have the best job in the world.  (Other times I think I must be crazy to be doing this.  Yes, definitely a little crazy.)  Being able to say to them, "Hey, what do you want to do?  Tell me what you want to learn about?" is a great and liberating thing.    I have tons of ideas for the year from research I've been doing over the summer, but I'm not so set on it that I can't be flexible.  Heck if a student actually WANTS to learn about something I'll throw it all out and go with it.  Example:  Today I found out one of my students wants to become a better singer.  I had him last year, and he had his good days but definitely days he struggled with wanting to progress towards graduation.  As I talked to him about it a little, he let me hear him sing Hero by Mariah Carey.  His voice was beautiful!  I was floored.  So we talked and I'm going to gear work in that class around helping him make his performance as good as his voice.  And he was excited! 

The other thing I am really excited about this year is how I am handling the districts expectation that we incorporate more writing in a way that will allow me to track student progress and actually have some data to back everything up.  How can that be done in art and theatre you ask?  Thank you technology.  And google.  First, I will be taking pictures of all my students work and uploading it into a file that they can access.  Before they finish the class, they will present their 10 favorite pieces to the class and talk about them.  This was inspired by the new TEKS approved this year for all the fine arts courses in Texas.  Check them out.  They are awesome.  You can check them out here.  Then comes the clincher.  The part that the new TEKS that totally inspired.  I've shared it with teachers in other disciplines and they want to implement it as well.

I shouldn't say this...but all hail Google.

Google Drive has come a long way since it was just Google Docs.  You can do spreadsheets, presentations, and now drawings and forms.  Forms is the one I want to talk about.  I went in and created a form, which basically allows me to create a questionnaire with multiple choice, true/false, short answer, essays, etc for students to respond to.  When they submit, ALL THE INFORMATION IS PUT INTO A SPREADSHEET FOR ME.  I can filter it and just see everything a particular student has said while they were in the class.  I have information for administrators or parents who want to know "What is this student even doing in there?"  I will have their own words to show them.

This is what mine looks like.

It's so cool!  Make your own, try it out.

Making it last

Teaching is a roller coaster.  I have so many amazing moments.  Last week our haunted house opened for the other students.  Hearing the screams of those walking through was so awesome.  I was so proud of my students.  Then Friday I took a small group on a field trip.  They knew we were going to the art museum.  What they didn't know until we were on our way was an awesome haunted house.  Seeing their excitement and gratitude was worth all the sacrifices to get them there.

Then there are the moments where I realize why teachers like me don't last very long.  I take a lot of risks.  I put my neck on the line to give my students opportunities others may think they no longer deserve.  If things go wrong, those opportunities will disappear.  I disappear.  It's not just burnout that I put myself at risk for (and I feel that's less of an issue for me because I LOVE my job), but at risk of losing my job because I'm too much of a risk for the administration.  They have been so supportive so far, but a few bumps in the past week are reminding me that it can quickly change.

Today I had a student advocate for me to an administrator.  Totally made me feel like I've done something right.    

Flexibility and Eating

Tuesdays bring another day and another pair of observers.  (I have one pair Monday/Friday, the other Tuesday/Thursday).  Before class started, I was talking to one of them about some of the differences in working with this type of student population and having to let go of certain things.  I told her how hard it can be to have class discussions.  Take all the kids in a normal classroom that don't respond and put them in one room yadda yadda that's my class.  She then made a really important point about flexibility.  After class started, I showed the students a few short videos about how to use Pepper's Ghost to create ghosts in our own haunted house.  Originally I told my observers that we'd most likely go over to the woodshop and measure some of the space.  And then I ate my words.  My class had an awesome discussion about what we were learning and how we could use it.  Then one girl asked, "Can we look through the costumes for ideas?"  Um...yeah. Absolutely.  Welcome to the learner-centered classroom.

Dress-up ensued.  Ideas shared.  I ended up doing the same thing with most of the rest of my classes.  It's amazing how fast you can get a bunch of tough teenage boys to start putting on wigs and dresses.  The highlight was surprisingly at the end of the day during 6th period.  I knew that we were going to have a fire drill when we had 15 minutes left of class, so I gave the kids a heads up.  The next thing I knew we were all picking out the craziest outfits we could to wear to walk outside in.  Students that think they would never perform put on quite a show, some of them even embodying characters that would wear such costumes.

During my conference period today I ran into a student that has had a lot of changes since last year.  Once upon a time, teachers were shocked when I nominated her for student of the month after her attitude started to change with me and she started helping us with our haunted house last year.  After a few bumps and a life changing experience, she is back this year in school with a completely new attitude.  Two teachers nominated her for student of the month this month.  When I walked with her for a moment, she looked up at the wall where the graduates pictures are and said, "I'm trying to get my picture up there."

Later, I had a student from last year return to my 4th period class.  I made the mistake of thinking I could just pick up where I left off with him.  He seemed bothered by something, almost sad, and eventually left on his own and went up to the office.  It seems he just felt like he needed to get out of there.  I had to remind myself what it took to get through to him last year.  Now I have a place to start and hopefully I can start building him back up again.  

Lost and Found, Secured and Insecure

I really should be more on top of this and had made some separate entries, but you know how it goes.

Firstly, a miracle.  The second day of school, my classroom key disappeared.  Do you have any idea how expensive those things are?  Yikes.  It somehow disappeared between 4th and 6th period, and I didn't remember leaving during that time.  For a week and a half, I had to get my supervisor or the custodian to let me in.  Each day I checked my classroom again, hoping that it had slipped between some papers or something (I'd barely had the key and had not put it on a keychain yet).  Finally my supervisor told me the last Friday of week 2 to tell the principal's secretary so they could get me a new one.  I sent the email, and in my next class the receptionist walked in with my key.  A few days earlier, someone found it upstairs on a table and turned it in to the front office not knowing whose it was.  No idea how it happened.  Maybe it got mixed up in some papers and picked up accidentally.  Whatever the key's story, I'm so happy to have it back!

My students are much like this missing key.  They disappear sometimes.  They have bad days after a long string of good ones.  And for some reason, somehow, they find their way back.  I have a student this year that is 18 years old, and came back to school...as a freshman.  How much courage must that take?!  He failed the 9th grade more than once before dropping out, and after a lot of love and intervention by family and friends he's back in school.  This is a kid who has a history of making teachers quit teaching (one even left a note on their door saying as such on their way out).  It's such a gift to watch and work with students like him.

At the end of week 2, I took my students into the woodshop, turned off all the lights except for one creepy orange one hanging from the ceiling, and told scary stories.  It was awesome.  In 4th period, a student who is normally very withdrawn shared a few that totally freaked all of us out.  By 6th, a few of my students from earlier in the day snuck around the outside of the woodshop and banged on the metal door and my entire class jumped about five feet in the air.  It did a lot to help them feel more comfortable reading and sharing in front of their classmates.

And now the reason I am so far behind. Last week I got sick.  Bad allergies led to a sinus infection and an ear infection.  Gotta love Texas.  I was out for two days and went to work sick the rest of them.  I HATE not being at work when my students are there.  Nothing gets done while I'm gone, students forget about classroom expectations, and it takes at least twice as long to get your students back on track when you return.  I found out that a fight almost broke out during my last class on Thursday, so I had to execute a smackdown upon my return...and stop letting students visit my class during 6th period for a while.  Now that class is kind of getting awesome again.

My students in general are so excited about being a part of creating this haunted house.  I've really been trying to drive home the importance of trust and responsibility as we go to work on it.  After being gone, we've talked a lot about "what you do when I'm not looking is just as important as what you do when I am."  I told each class that they could start work on the haunted house as each class showed me they were participating and following the rules.  1st period we went over, and a student pulled out her cell phone and answered it.  The result? We went back to the regular classroom and did math related artwork.  Let's just say word travels and my later classes did not have the same problem.  

Then today I had a moment of feeling totally insecure.  I have a few college students observing my classes this semester.  There is a little bit of excitement having people see what is possible with these kids, mixed with feelings of having those same people pass judgement on the way you teach.  These college students more so since I worked for their professor for three years, and they are writing papers for him about my teaching.  Yikes!  One of them asked me some questions today that kind of surprised me, while others made me laugh.  Other questions caused me to wonder if I've given up on certain things.  Then I remembered the importance of understanding your students and building them up and into the work.  It's almost like I trick them into learning.  It's not a group that you can really get a class discussion going with, which was one of the topics that came up today.  Imagine taking all the students in a normal classroom who don't answer during class discussions and putting them in one room and then you have my classes.  But here's the thing.  These kids are working.  And while they won't have a big class discussion about something, you can accomplish the same goals through individual conversations with students throughout class.  Same principal, different approach.  My students will get there with time.

Let's get it started in here

Yesterday morning I had one of the most hilarious moments ever teaching.  I must preface by saying that I found out that a few students from the University of Texas at Austin will be coming to observe my class this semester twice a week.  They are currently enrolled in classroom management, and told the professor (who I once worked with) that I would love to have them come here and get a real experience in it.  I work with the students that a lot of other teachers kicked out of their class or hoped would leave their class.  People have a lot of ideas of what at-risk kids are like and what it's like to work with them.  It is not easy, and I fall short on a regular basis.  But there is so much you can do.

It all started when I was telling my students about the UT students that would be coming.  I thought it would be hilarious to play a practical joke on the college students when they came.  We started joking about staging a fake fight in class so I showed them how to make pulling someone's hair without actually hurting them more realistic.  Right as a student was pretending to throw me around, the assistant principal walked in the door.  Hilarity ensued.  She walked back down the hallway afterwards saying, "Hey, whatever it takes."

My students are getting pretty excited about the haunted house.  I love that I have a few returning students that remembered both that we've pulled it off before and the things that needed improvement.  I love when I have new students coming in (still at least daily) and I tell them and I get to see the excitement on their faces.  I love that I get to teach them skills and application together that they can use in the real world.  I love that they are a little bit crazy, and therefore in good company.

I actually have two theatre kids this semester.  One that is a total techie and one that took Theatre I already.  Even one techie opens up a whole world of possibilities for us and trying to build this program from nothing.  Well, not nothing.  From my students and I.

Today we continued talking about storytelling and used children's stories and fairy tales as inspiration for our own stories.  Some of my favorites from students today:

Snow White and the Seven Zombies
The 3 Little Wetbacks (the wolf character was an immigration officer)
Jack and the Weed Plant

The student that wrote the last one came up to me after class so excited and said he planned on going home and typing it up.  He was giddy.

Can I just take a moment and say how much I also love the teachers that I work with?  When I was in school we were warned to stay away from the teachers' lounge at lunch.  Avoid the negativity of teachers complaining about students.  At my school I find something very different.  First there is the group excitedly discussing baseball (be careful, there is a Mets fan), others talking about life in general, and even more talking about what they are doing to help their students and how they can work together to make things better for individual students.  Today they were talking about tattoos.  My fault.  I challenged some of my students to find out which teacher had a Harry Potter tattoo.  It's the deathly hallows.  Hey, it got students talking to teachers as they tried to find out.

I just think they are a pretty dang cool bunch.

Week One

Remember the kid that walked out the first day?  He was great the next day.  Now that we are getting to work it he's actually working.  I even emailed the principal with the little bit of happy news.

This week we started with some basics.  Elements of Art.  Line.  Thought I could cover a few of the elements a day, but changed to covering one a day.  I had a cross-curricular/connect to previous knowledge moment when I asked students about where they had heard the term element before.  "Science!" they shouted.  So if in science elements are "stuff you use together to make more stuff"then it was easier for them to understand that in art, the elements are "stuff you use together to make more stuff."  We also played with pipe cleaners to illustrate the different kinds of lines we can make.

As the week went on I realized something amazing.  My students seemed happy.  They were working. They were learning. I was beginning to see opportunities.  I even did a little bit of playing stupid.  When I got a new student that wasn't doing anything yet, I'd say, "Oh I'm sorry, I forgot to get you some paper.  Let me go get you some."  They would look at me confused and when I got back didn't know what else to do other than get to work.  Also the my hall pass rule has worked surprisingly well.  Want to go to the restroom?  Leave me your cell phone or your shoe.  My students are usually gone for 2 minutes, 5 tops instead of wandering around the school.  They also know if they leave early or even without permission that they lose whatever points they've earned for the day and get -5 instead.  I've had much fewer problems, especially at the end of the day, with kids taking off.  It's the first week of school and my kids are working AND learning.

After we learned about Line, Shape, and Color we had a Pictionary competition on Friday.  Most of them had never played before!  Not only did they enjoy it and use what they had learned, but they got to practice inferring by observing the drawings and then trying to interpret what they were.  You're welcome central administration.  

I think what I gained the most this first week was feeling confident in being myself with these kids.  I laugh a lot.  I joke with them.  I don't get in their face.  I don't give them a reason to feel they need to rebel or prove themselves in a negative way.  I greet new students with a huge smile and learn their names as fast as I can.  I tell them I want them in my class.  They are amazing, though many don't see that in them.  I have been having more fun with what I'm doing.  I try to keep my classroom feeling safe and welcoming while showing my students that as they meet expectations they are the ones making it possible for us to do great things.

This week I felt like a superhero.

Day One Take Two

It's finally here!  The first day of school.  Even though I felt like there was so much more I wanted to have set up before school started, mentally and emotionally I felt so much better than last year.  Thinking about some of my experiences, all I could think was, "Hey, I've survived this before.  I've survived when it was really hard and the students hated me and I had to throw out my curriculum and start over and...and...and....  I can totally do this again."  And I did.  It felt great.

First period I had fun with trying to make my class sound really boring (had a few kids from last year that used to ditch and walk out a lot).  It was hilarious.  Had one student walk out after about 30 minutes.  Kept asking every 2 minutes if he could go to the bathroom, then to the nurse, etc.  Just trying to get out of class.  Didn't feel bad when I found out he got in trouble for walking out of his second period class as well.

The rest of the day continued to be a pleasant surprise.  I went over with my students what the expectations of the class were along with giving them a few options on what to work on for the rest of the class period.  1.  Write about what they did this summer.  2.  Draw about what they did this summer.  3.  Help work on the window decoration.  (This year I'm doing "stained glass" out of black butcher paper and colored tissue paper).  Everyone chose something.  Many were happy working on the windows.  I was happy to see them working.  Together.  There are those who think these kids are not capable of working well with others.  I beg to differ.

Class expectation I am most excited about:  In order to get a pass to the restroom, they have to give me a cell phone or a shoe as collateral.  If they don't come back in a reasonable amount of time I keep it until the end of the day.  They laughed then realized I was serious.  I laughed when they actually agreed to it.  Other teachers think it's genius.  I think I'm a crazy genius.  Mwahahahaha.

Starting anew

First long day of training over.  Time for a fresh start.

The pros:
     I love my school.
     So many great teachers that really care about helping their students.
     I'm really impressed with the new hires that are joining us this year.
     A new assistant principal.
     I'm feeling totally inspired about the opportunity I have and very optimistic about the coming year..

The cons:
     With all the hope and inspiration at times comes feelings of insecurity.  I wish I did more.  I wish I could help every student I have to feel like my classroom is a safe place.  I wish I could help them develop a love for learning and creating.  I feel this overwhelming responsibility to help all of my students not just graduate but become better people.  I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing at times and then ask questions like, "How on earth did I think I was qualified for this?"

Then I remember a phrase I read once:

"...if ye have desires to serve...ye are called to the work."

Back to School

I can't believe I'm about to start my second year of teaching.  Yesterday I stopped by the school and started working on decorating my classroom with the help of a very creative and very generous friend.  Monday is our first official day back at work, and a week later the students will arrive.  So surreal.  The summer was here and gone in an instant.

Today I found myself at Target buying school supplies for my students (so thankful for Texas' tax free weekend).  All around me I saw parents with their children getting them everything they needed for the coming year.  I heard women calling a friend asking for help finding a school's supply list that the store didn't have.  As I checked out and looked at my pile of pens, pencils, paper, etc., my heart grew a little bit heavy.  Few if any of my students would be back to school shopping with their parents today.  They won't be showing up in a week with new backpacks or new folders or even their own pencils and erasers.

What they will show up to is a teacher who believes in them and their future, even if they don't...yet.  

Day One Hundred Fifty-eight: Flip flops

My worst classes are now my best.  My best class is now my worst.  I think it's due to testing last week and having some students not be able to come to my class for four days.

Today I had to break a promise to my students.  We were supposed to throw darts at paint filled balloons in my first two classes since they'd been asked to help tomorrow with the Special Olympics.  After work, I realized my car key had disappeared.  Most likely fell out of my pocket somewhere, never to be seen again.  So I had to wait for AAA to come, get towed to a dealership, arrive after they closed, and luckily found a friend whose husband was out of town to borrow his car until I could get mine back (wow that was a bad run-on sentence).  So after getting home at almost 10pm finally, I didn't get the supplies I needed.  My students, my awesome resourceful students, decided to construct their own darts from broken pencils, push pins, and hot glue.  Bonus points for creativity!  So we got to experiment with a few balloons to see if it worked better with lots of paint or less paint inside.  The verdict?  Less is better.  It makes an awesome splatter while the others make big streaks down the paper.  (Cool if that's what you're going for though).

I took some students third period outside to take a look at the morning's experiment.  It was a few minutes before lunch when we went back inside and I had to pull the chain to close the door through the woodshop.  I asked the students to wait in the attached classroom for me (so they wouldn't sneak out early to lunch, which they usually try to do on a regular basis).  I walked into the room to find ALL of my students sitting down waiting for me.  I almost fell over.  Did they just actually follow directions?!

Another highlight of the day?  Also in that same class.  I was talking to my students about this summer, and how I was excited for the break but going to miss them.  Then one of my most outspoken students got up and said, "You should come down to my hood.  And I'll tell everyone, 'Hey, leave her alone, she's cool!'"  Completely serious.  He went on about it for almost five minutes.  I could barely keep myself from falling on the floor laughing.

Day One Hundred Fifty-six: Consequences

Kids are getting a little restless.  The end must be getting closer. 

I had a conversation today with a student in my second period about consequences.  He struggles a lot in school.  He doesn't think anyone does anything for him.  He acts out a lot.  He complains about class being boring.  For Friday I've been plotting a really fun activity involving throwing darts at balloons filled with paint.  I told him if he wants to participate, he would need to come to class and do the work each day this week.  After multiple requests to leave (I did let him go to the bathroom once) he couldn't take it anymore and walked out with about 5 minutes left.

Early in 3rd period I got a phone call from the front desk.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah..."
"Someone called 911 from your classroom at 10:50."

Honestly kids. 

Didn't take much to figure out that it was the kid from my 2nd period.  Found out later he'll spend the next 2 weeks in SMARTS (in-school suspension).  Talk about boring. 

I had a really great chat with my assistant principal today about my performance review.  He thinks I've created a really great environment in my classroom and the kids have come a long way as far as participating in class from the beginning of the school year.  I asked him if he expected me to still be around at the end of the year.  He didn't think I would be gone, just that he thought they would have eaten me alive. 

These kids have taught me so much.

I was a little sad today to find out about some students who had withdrawn from school.  On the flip side, a student came by today beaming that he was finally done with classes and graduating.  Speaking of how things change...he used to be in my class and walked out almost daily.  Now he that he's not in my class, he comes almost every day and helps out.

Day One Hundred Fifty-four: Miss me?

It feels like ages since I've written.  I figured today was just as good as any to get back on the horse.  I'll be filling in some unfinished posts soon.  I hope.  :)

Some of my students were taking the TAKS test for Science today, while most of the rest are on a different schedule to prepare for the STAAR test.  I miss my kids.  One popped his head in at the end of lunch.  I smiled and said, "Miss me?"
"Yeah.  My other classes are boring."
"So my class isn't."
"No."
"Can I quote you on that?"
"If you don't use my name."

I have a newer student in my 4th period class.  He can be a little crazy and all over the place at times.  Today we were learning some techniques for painting with watercolor.  After asking over and over again if he could go outside and play basketball with the PE class, and me saying no, he finally says he has a proposition.  "If I sit here, and focus on my work, and finish this exercise, AND don't talk...then can I go outside?"  It was too much fun to pass up.  "Sure!"  At first, I thought there was no way to do it.  I laughed hysterically as the two students next to him did everything they could to make him talk or laugh.  At one point he started miming asking me to clean out his water cup.  I told him he could handle it.  Then he tried tapping the person next to him and pointing.  No such luck.  Somehow he persevered.  With 15 minutes left in class he got to go outside.  It was totally worth it.  I think sometimes I have too much fun with my job...and then I remember how important it is to teach with joy

Today was the first time I admitted to a student that it's my first year teaching.  She's only been here about a month, and today should be her last day if she passed her TAKS test.  I told her stories about how students at the beginning of the school year tried to get me to quit, and how much things had changed.  I asked one of the boys who's been with me from the beginning how long it took for him to realize I wasn't going to quit.  "Three days."  A few days ago, I had a student tell me, "I think you'll stay here forever."  What a change from the days of, "When are you going to get a real job?"

I really love my job.  I feel so blessed to be able to work with these kids.  I get to work alongside amazing teachers that sacrifice so much to help those who others have given up on.  It is hard.  Let me say that again.  This is a really hard job.  I don't think everyone could do it.  (And there are those I am grateful for who do jobs I never could either).  But I love it.  And it's worth it.

Day Ninety-three: Oh, you were serious

I started my day exhausted. Couldn't sleep. Running late. Overwhelmed. And then my day set in motion. And it was a pretty fantastic day.

First period one of the boys has been coming back (he's missed school, been suspended, or just ditched my class for all but about 10 days this year). How do I know that there is progress? He gave me one of his Starbursts today.

2nd period I have a few more students, thanks to schedule changes. One switched periods, one was in another, then switched out for a month before coming back

I left one student alone during 3rd period. He's been having a hard time lately, I think with life in general, so I let him have his space today, only stopping by to say hi and ask how he was doing.

A group of girls (3 have been with me all year and became friends in my class) asked if they could come to my room during lunch to have a little birthday celebration for their friends today. She had a rough time the day before and they wanted to do something nice for her. I loved that they felt it was a place they wanted to be.

Student (male): Are we going to put glitter on this?

Me: Heh heh.

Student: ....

Me: Oh, do you think we should?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Um, uh, what color?

Student: Purple.

Later I asked the students which workshop I should go to at TETA Theatre Fest. Fight Choreography and Model Building got the most votes. When I said there was a Shakespeare class, I said I told the principal when I interviewed that I'd never do Shakespeare here. Then the same student said, "Uh...we could do something with it for Valentine's Day." Luckily I was sitting down so I didn't hit the floor.

shakespeare

Day Ninety: Blackouts

Today I put our projects on hold and did a little cross-curricular social studies lesson.

If you are reading this on the day I posted it, you probably have heard about SOPA. If you haven't, this must be the only page you've seen all day. Across the internet, websites are staging a protest through online blackouts against the proposed legislation.

Since the planned protest was today, I felt it was the best time to bring it up. We started with an activity exploring students attitudes about music, movies, the internet, and freedom of speech. After sharing this and related information with my students, a few of them had very strong feelings about it. We talked about how even though most of them are not old enough to vote, the internet helped them to have a voice and to share that voice. I let them get online and post information about it. I showed them how to look up and contact their representatives. And lo and behold...some of them got on and did! The girl in my 4th period who normally fights me on things was the most determined to send him an email. She was planning on contacting her senators next. Later I found out some students were still talking about it in other classes and one of the social studies teachers was so excited that the kids now knew who the name of their congressmen. Part way through the day, I started finding articles about some supporters changing their votes and showed the students that it was because of people like them contacting their leaders that these changes were happening. Their voices can make a difference.

Day Eighty-six: Do you smell that?

Today was my first adventure with the drug dogs. I've heard about them, and I think once I saw them pass in the hallway. Today during 1st period one of the staff came into our room, told everyone to take off their coats, leave everything in the room, and stand out in the hallway. There we found a police officer with a Lab (to our surprise not a German Shepherd...we even stereotype dogs). They did a sweep of the room, came back out, and we returned to the room. Needless to say at least one student looked a little too relieved.

I got an email today saying that one of my students was taken out of school today by her mom. Even though she has not wanted to do any work and has shown little to no desire to do anything besides be wrapped up in her cell phone, I still hoped there was a way to get through to her. It's a strange mix of feelings between knowing you tried everything you could think of and wishing you could have done more.

In happier news, while I have a few students who seem to find editing music "boring" (Are they crazy? They get to listen to music and mess around with it AND work towards getting credit), I have a lot of students that are having a blast. Then there are the students that I used to struggle with so much turn around and be so proud of what they are creating. I love the smiles on their faces when they finally hand over their headphones to me so I can hear what they've done. It makes it so worth it.

Day Eighty-one: Alone

I ended the day on a low note after a pretty good day. So to get it out of the way, I'll say that my 6th period class was a circus. The kind where the boys start trying to show off how ghetto they are in front of the new (to my class, just returning to the school) student that just got out of jail. I have a special plan for revenge. It involves making cupcakes for all the classes but theirs.

During 3rd period, I only had one girl today. All of the guys were sitting around one table painting, but she just sat in her chair quietly. She's a good, polite, normally hardworking kid. So I walked over to talk to her and see what was up. Over the break, a lot of changes were made to student schedules. Her friends are no longer in the same class as her, and she was sad and felt alone. I told her that maybe together we can make the class better again. Then I walked back to the table and started painting with the boys. A few minutes later, I turned and asked her a question. She started to respond. Next thing I knew, she stood up, walked over to the table, sat down in the chair next to me, and joined the conversation.

Day Eighty: Revenge

I'm waiting on another class to finish up with a set of computers so my students can start using them, so today I showed them how Audacity works. Why Audacity? It's free. If they can get access to a computer, anywhere, they can download and use the program. Some classes I recorded what they were saying as they came in the door and then showed them what we could do with it. In another class, I edited something I said to make it sound like I said, "Sleeping in class is allowed." In 6th, we had the most fun. After the students saw a little of how it worked, I hit record and they made a bunch of noises and laughed and commented on what they did. Then we went back and listened to it. They picked out parts they liked, and together we told a story using sound. A loud clap sounded like a slap. We layered a girl screaming on top of it, for which we slowed down and raised the pitch. Someone had shouted, "Hey" later which we put in response to the slap and scream. We started to create a story using their sound clips. I'm trying to upload the final product, but technology is winning this battle.

I walked in to the cafeteria at the end of lunch and started talking to one of my 4th period students. She said, in essence, "Miss G was talking to us and said you are the one person here who is always happy. I told her, 'Yeah, even when we talk back to her she's still happy.'" I couldn't help smiling.

It became an interesting segue into a conversation I had with another one of my students at the end of 4th period. Somehow the topic of getting revenge came up. He shared with me his earliest experiences with teachers. In kindergarten, he said a teacher hit him and he hit back--with a glass bottle. A few years later, he got his payback by pushing the teacher. (Am I worried about my students hurting me? No. I told one student today who asked if I was worried when he walked behind me, "No, I figure if you guys were going to hurt me, you would have done something by now.") I was sad to hear he felt like he had made too many mistakes. We talked about the best type of revenge- being happy and successful. I shared with him an experience I had in high school. One of my teachers failed me because she thought I was ditching her class. I came back the next year with a different teacher, got an A, and then scored a 5 on the AP test. That, I told him, was the sweetest and best payback. The look on that teachers face when she found out was worth it. We all go through tough times. We all have disappointments. We all miss out on things because of the choices of others. The best revenge I can get now when students are disrespectful to me, I told him, it to be happy anyway. The best revenge he can get now is to show everyone who has treated him poorly what he is truly capable of. It is those who have overcome the most, people just like him, that can do the most good.