Day Twenty-six: Striking out and striking gold

1st period I had an unexpected miracle. Most of the guys in the class were dragging their feet on the assignment, while another had finished his outline, script, and background on the first day. He was doing a story on someone who had a hard life, with a reporter at the beginning and end. The student who has been ditching or in SMARTS for weeks came back today. I'm not sure how it all happened, but first I asked if he'd read the part of the guy with the hard life so he could get some credit for the assignment, but he struggled to read the other student's handwriting. So I asked if he'd just talk to me about his life and what has been hard about it. Now this is a kid who has been ditching my class because he was mad at me for catching him ditching another class amongst other things. All of the sudden, he was talking about his parents and his home life and why he started smoking. I think it took me a few minutes to pick my jaw up off the floor.

2nd period I felt like I was a failure. I received an email that morning about a student that had been under review to go up to the next grade level. There had been some concern about her behavior and was the last thing holding her back. She had been doing really well in my class until this week. I wanted to help her out and give her a heads up on what was going on. I asked her if I could talk to her for a moment in the hallway. She totally blew up. She wouldn't talk to me, she kept yelling at me, she walked out to get a drink of water, and I saw another teacher in the hallway so I asked him to watch my class for a second (he also has her in one of his classes). I tried to explain what was going on, but she just threw it back at me, saying she didn't care and she'd just leave the school. Not really sure what I'm going to do on Monday for her, or if I'm going to leave her alone until she's ready to talk to me again.

3rd period I stopped trying to film. I had covered the bay door to the shop with paper, but it was really windy outside, which caused the door to bang loudly and drowned out the students beyond recognition. After two class periods of leaning against the door to try to keep it quieter, I gave up. I had a girl ask me if she could use my printer to print out something for her English class. I told her no, since she had not been doing anything in class all week. Since she's 18, she can leave if she wants, so she called her mom, then the office, and left.

By 4th period, "Friday" takes over with these kids. I wasn't going to film, and the kids fight like crazy and start bouncing off walls on Friday afternoon. So I took a different approach. After waiting a LONG TIME for everyone to settle down (i.e., one students kept jumping out of his chair to do pushups), I took some suggestions on games we could play and wrote them on the board. Most of the students then participated as I taught them a new warmup, then played Ninja and Charades.

Sixth period we started by taking suggestions and voting on games to play. After the first few, one of the students left to go to the restroom. Before I realized it, I said, "Hey let's play a trick on him and hide in the storage closet!" Everyone totally played along. One student sat at the front of the class alone in a chair, two hid under a table, and the rest of us hid in the storage room. When he came back, we didn't do a ver good job of scaring him, but we went back to our seats. Then I realized I was missing a student. Uh oh. A moment later, one of the drawers in the back of the room started to open and close on its own. Then the one next to it. We all burst out laughing. One of my students had crawled into the cupboard underneath and was opening and closing the drawer above. Before I knew it, my kids decided they wanted to make a haunted house. So we're plotting together a super secret haunted house in our room during the school's Halloween Party. Then one of them said, "We should charge like a dollar for admission and use it as a fundraiser so we can go on a field trip." How awesome is that?! So we'll be spending the month designing and building what we can. So cool. Shhhhhh.

Day Twenty-five: Outtakes

This morning started similar to yesterday. Same student put the chairs together, laid down, and promptly ignored my request to please sit up. Walked over to the computer, opened up my email, and copied both the principal and the AP on what was going on, so there would be a record in case someone came in and asked why I had a student passed out in class doing nothing. The principal came himself this time, pulled him in the hallway, and then they walked up to the office together. Not sure what is going on, but I hope to find out tomorrow. After he left the remaining kids were fine. One just got out of SMARTS. He was really anxious about being in there. He told me last week that it was for something someone else did, but he served his time.

2nd period was the first class to start filming. The girls were ready and anxious to get it done. One girl kept freaking out and didn't want to be in front of the camera. Eventually she sat there and read her questions. Two of the guys kept putting their heads down, and it felt like there was nothing I could do to change that. They did actually get up when we went to the other room.

3rd period was hilarious. Yes I let the girls do my hair. It wasn't as high as I thought it would be. Thankfully the girl who was supposed to do my makeup was feeling sick. They kept saying "Miss, you are going to look so sexy."

4th period we got more filming done for the group doing a scene on the red carpet. One girl earlier this week didn't want to do it, so I gave her another assignment. But once she got in there and started trying on dresses, I said, "Hey, do you want to pretend to be someone's wife on the red carpet?" She totally went with it. Even improvised dialogue. The destructo boys kept pacing around the room. All I could think was that it was the lead up to something breaking. I checked on them a few times to make sure it didn't get to that point. When I was checking on them, I left the camera on. I'm using the one on my computer, so the kids were able to see themselves. Later I saw two of the boys had done a whole little dance in front of the camera. So now I'll be making a blooper reel.

Day Twenty-four: I hate you!

My morning started out with only three students in class. 1st period is a small class to begin with, but that was just really small. I think I ended up with four. One of the boys, the one who on Monday thought that because it was his birthday he could take a nap and do nothing, pulled some chairs together again and laid down. He then ignored me and didn't move the entire class period. Ugh. Two of the boys wanted to make something to decorate the door, so I let them take a break from the project and trace a Frankenstein on the projector. They send they were going to personalize it, and I didn't notice the marajuana leaves until after they hung it up. Yeah. It came down. These boys.

Second period the girls made some progress scripting out the Q & A about teen pregnancy. They are doing a really good job. The boys were struggling with their plans and wanted to make changes. The young man I made a deal with actually did some work today. He thinks it's really hard. He's right. Learning to be creative is just like learning any other subject. Only a few people start out being good at it. The rest of us have to learn to do it, little by little.

Ah 3rd period.The girls are so excited to give me a makeover for their project. And by makeover I mean they wanted to make me over to go clubbing. I think I toned them down a little bit by limiting what dress I would wear. However, they are determined to put some really high poof in my hair. Maybe one of them will be absent tomorrow?

4th period is always an adventure now. Remember when it was my quietest class? Yeah, one of my students said the same thing today. My "Are you going to quit?" boy had a meltdown today. He had made a prop weapon that he was going to use for their skit, which I told him he was not allowed to leave the room with. Then his friend had found the staple gun and was holding it against someone. I took it from him, removed the staples, and gave it back with the instruction that they could use it, but that if I heard it click once (just in case there was still one in there). A few minutes later, I heard it go off, saw that the first guy had it, and went and took it from him. He yelled at me, "I hate you!" and tore the prop he had made in pieces. I picked up the pieces and put them on my desk. I sent the two boys over to the library to sit in silence while the rest of us went over to the woodshop and started filming. The group that started filming had so much fun. We covered the bay door with green paper so we can later green screen in a background.

Later towards the end of 6th I saw the same young man coming down the hallway. When I saw him I asked, "You still hate me?" "No..." "Do you want to put the prop back together again tomorrow?" He seemed to have calmed down. I stood in the doorway and talked to him for a few minutes, just to ask how he was doing in general. Then one of my students came out in the hallway as well. His dad came by a few weeks ago when we had open house and gave me his number in case his son was causing any problems. He's been doing pretty well in class lately, and I meant to compliment him, so I said, "Hey, I haven't had to call your dad!" "Uh, well I'm not going to give you a reason," and he went back in the classroom. I couldn't stop laughing.

Day Twenty-three: You first

This morning before school started one of my lovely students from 4th period opened the door just long enough to shout "Quit!" before walking away. At first I was shaken a little by it. I know they are just looking for a reaction, and as long as I react, they will keep doing it. My initial plan was to just ignore them until they stopped. Then I had an idea. When my 1st period was walking in the door, I said to the kid who told me yesterday to get a real job, "Have you quit yet?" and smiled. "Nah Miss." And he laughed. The boys kept to themselves all period as they worked and didn't harass me about anything.

2nd period I really tried to work with some of the boys who have not been working. There are a variety of underlying reasons, and I'm trying to figure out the right motivation to inspire them to try. I spent a lot of time with one group to help one boy that's been turned down at the high school, but has another chance next year to go back and play football. He's had brief moments of motivation, but very brief and spends most classes just sitting there or slowly scribbling on his folder. I asked lots of questions, asked about things he was interested in, then told him that if he could work the next few days and finish the project, I'd take the whole class to the game room for a while. He said he'd start fresh tomorrow. Crossing my fingers. And my toes. The girls are doing a show about teen pregnancy. All but one of them is actually pregnant. I had tried to get one to talk to the social worker a little while ago, but she didn't seem open to any help. After the girls decided on their own to talk about teen pregnancy, I invited the social worker to our class to talk to them about ideas they could use about resources available to pregnant teens. One of the pregnant girls was absent. When she came back today, the girl who was not wanting help before told the other girl about a program she could apply for that was free that could help her out. She was listening after all!

At the start of 3rd period, I asked my table/window climber to sit in the back while I went over instructions for the day. Turned out to be a good idea. Seemed to keep her calmer once everyone got together and started working. Now comes the "What did I get myself into?!" moment. Four of the girls decided to do a makeover show, and they needed someone in the group to get made over. But each of them was already responsible for a different part of the makeover.... So after much pleading on their part I agreed to let them use me. What have I done?

After the "Quit" comment, each time I saw that boy in the hallway, I said, "Have you quit yet?" The first time he responded with the same thing back. Then I'd say you first. Then I walked up behind him after lunch as we were about to walk to class, and said, "Did you quit yet?" By that point, I think he got tired of it and the lack of reaction on my part. He gave up and didn't say a word about it for the entire class period. Take that!! I also have a guy in that class who gets so excited about costumes. He started trying to make a top hat out of construction paper. He is going to be interviewing stars on the red carpet. Can't wait to see what they do. Remember when my 4th period class was really quiet? Ha!

As 6th period was about to start, one of the girls in my 3rd period snuck in and asked if she could hide in there for a moment. Apparently she was hiding from her boyfriend who she wants to break up with. He really likes her. She's still in love with her ex-boyfriend. Ah the teenage drama. Poor guy. I then worked on the art of creating groups. One lesson I learned? Keep groups of five or smaller with these kids. A few guys that were gone yesterday were back today, plus a new student (that had been in one of my classes for about a week at the beginning of the year). They stared with a group of six, but nothing was happening. So I asked in anyone wanted to split off. At first only one did, but eventually two more wanted to, and each group had an idea that they liked. I had to coach one group, but helped them with an option they could work with and then they felt better about moving forward. They are going to have a debate on which is better: soccer or football. I'm really curious to see how it all works out.

Day Twenty-two: A Real Job

This morning I was half-way to work when I realized I blew it. I had taken my work computer along with all my students' folders home over the weekend to grade the work they did when I was out...and it was still sitting in my apartment. I got off the freeway, turned around, and headed back home. Not a great moment when you live on the opposite side of the city. I felt so flustered by the time I arrived at work. When I got in to my 1st period, the boys were pushing it, asking when I was going to get a real job. One of the guys decided that since it was his birthday, he could do whatever he wanted, including no work and talking back to me. When I asked him to please sit up, after laying across a few chairs, he either ignored me or laughed at me.

My later classes were a little more cooperative. I put the students in groups to create short scenes (a commercial, news story, etc) that they would create backdrops for by drawing them on small pieces of paper that we will later green screen them in front of after recording them. It took some time to help them come up with ideas they liked, but some got there and it was cool to see these kids actually working together.

The ring leader of the O5ers had schedule changes yet again and now she is in my 6th period (she's been in 5th, 2nd, and 4th already). I tried so hard to be ready for her today. Luckily, she came in late after everyone else had settled down in their groups. As soon as she came in the door, I said, "Oh good, you're here. I have an alternate assignment for you today." She looked at me a little weird at first and asked why. "Because I didn't think you'd be interested in what everyone else is working on." Then I explained the assignment and told her I needed her help designing Halloween/October decorations for one of the doors. I asked if she could come up with a few ideas, sketch them out, and then we'd talk about them and pick one. She seemed happy with the option, found a seat, and got to work. SHE GOT TO WORK!

Day Twenty-one: Curses

Today was my first full day back. We played a game called Curses. Lots of improvisation without the students realizing they are doing improv. Some of the students seemed a little hesitant at first. But it didn't take long for them to be laughing so hard they were falling out of their chairs.

Short post today. Still need lots of rest and recovery.

Day Twenty: Sick Days

Wondering if I've fallen behind? So am I. I've been out sick for a few days (thanks to a bout of bronchitis) and went back today. My voice is still pretty scratchy. I'm exhausted. But I'm slowly on the mend and would rather be at work than not.

Lessons I've learned: When you don't go in, someone else has to. The first day my supervisor covered my classes. The next two there were subs. When I wasn't there, I actually had to write out a lesson plan (I don't do that now as everything is incredibly fluid and new students come every day). I had no idea how those plans would be interpreted, presented, or understood by the students. It's a very weird feeling. The loss of control. The unknown. The fear of the students feeling like you've abandoned them. At a certain point, I just wanted to be back so I'd know how they were doing. After a few days, I felt like i couldn't continue on with a project that I was so uncertain about where the students were at. From the teachers and administrators perspective, the subs were great. The students? Hated the sub yesterday. Oh they couldn't stop talking about how mean she was. Awesome.

The first students I saw this morning walking by my door peeked in the window, saw I was back, and looked disappointed. I found out later that one of them thought I had quit. Then the day improved. Students were relieved to see me, concerned when they could hear in my voice that I was in fact sick, and maybe a little happy to see me. How can that not make your day?

I had quite a few new students added to my classes over the past few days. I had to catch them up today on how the class works. I was happy to see a few students that I worked with last week in the assembly from the Spanish class and I'm excited to have their willingness and enthusiasm. One was the student who thanked me in the hallway after. The other was the student who wanted to wear his costume all day and shouted "Viva la Quesadilla!" during the skit.

I was chatting with two of the boys in 6th period today and they asked if they could work on a skit or play. And make it good. Make it good they said! I told them if they were willing to put in the time and the work that we could totally do it. Then one asked if they could do Romeo and Juliet. It was hilarious. We talked about "ghettoizing" it. Having the families from the rival zip codes here in the city. They were so excited. Now to harness that energy.

The girl in my 6th period that's been acting out and seeking attention told me today that her mom is moving her to a high school in another district. She took that to mean that today was her last day and she could do whatever she wanted. That led to not just talking back, distracting other students who were trying to work, throwing marshmallows...yes I said THROWING marshmallows. I took her to the principals office at the end of the day as she was supposed to be on a contract with him. He asked her, "What are you going to do if things don't work out the way you think they will? What if it's not your last day?" If it's not, she's getting sent straight to SMARTS tomorrow. He told me I could have sent her straight there today when she first started acting out.

I'd like to not take any more sick days for a while.

Day Nineteen: Viva

I spent the first three classes this morning setting up and preparing for the assembly today. The last two weeks have been a big production. In 1st period the boys were trying to construct sombreros from wire and brown paper. One of my other students was lying down across a couple chairs. He started talking to me about what had been going on at home, and I decided to let him talk. I hope that he is starting to realize I want to help him. Once he got out what he wanted to say, he got up and started painting. I'm trying to learn the art of balancing getting to know students while keeping them engaged in learning. With these kids, I don't think they'll listen to a word I say until they believe they can trust me. The Spanish teacher was supposed to send the kids that were in the assembly during the last 20 minutes of class. He forgot that we were on a different schedule on assembly days and didn't send me kids until the last 5 minutes of class. We rushed going over stuff and I was definitely a little stressed at that point.

2nd period the students continued to make posters to decorate the wall. Mr. I'm Not Going to Do What You Say So I Had To Ignore Him is really coming around. Not only has he not been giving me attitude, he volunteered to be in the scene and even let me paint a fake battle wound on his neck. When the next group of kids came in to work, things went a lot better. We choreographed the battle scene and it was actually pretty good.

3rd period I warned the kids was going to be a bit of a circus. I was proud of how well they handled it. Started out getting the last of the backgrounds together along with the fake weapons for the battle. Then we went to set up the portable stage, students in the skits started arriving in the cafeteria, I took students to pick up costumes, and kept the sky from falling. Some students had not picked out costumes and I just started handing them things like funny brown chap looking pants...and they actually put them on. What they swore they'd never put on a few days earlier they put right on with little to no argument. One student even asked if he could wear his costume for the rest of the day. I hoped to run through the battle once with all the students together, but we didn't quite make it. Students started pouring into the cafeteria.

The assembly celebrating Mexican Independence Day was quite an adventure. The skit went pretty well considering. Two of the girls were supposed to run away screaming but never got up. We tried to encourage them to move during the skit, but they just sat there. They were so nervous. The leader of the Mexican army started with shouting "Viva la Mexico!" and then moved to "Viva la taco! Viva la quesadilla!" After that the Spanish class presented the Top Ten Reasons to Celebrate Mexican Independence Day. I think the favorite was the principal's belly roll. One of the students dressed up like him and danced to some hilarious music. I ran into one of the student in the skit after and told him he did a good job. "We couldn't have done it without you, Miss." So sweet. I told him it was all them.

After lunch my 4th period helped take down the stage. As we were walking down the hallway, one of the boys asked what we were doing today. My response: "We'll talk about it when we get back to class." My thought: "I have no idea." I had been so focused on the assembly I hadn't thought through what I was doing with the students who were not getting ready for it. The other students had so much fun with the costumes that I decided to head over to the lab and go through them. I asked the students to go through, find something they liked, even try it on if they wanted to. Then they would describe the costume and create a character that would wear it. Who they were, why they were wearing it, etc. At first I heard comments about not wanting to play dress up. In just a few minutes some of the boys had vests or skirts on while the girls were trying on dresses. Then I heard music to my ears from one of the new girls in the class. "Can we like do a play at an assembly?" I tried to contain my happy dance. Another girl said she'd be interested in doing something too. Baby steps folks, baby steps.

In 6th we set up for the football game. Why you ask? Well last game I saw the principal doing it, so I decided to give my students points for helping set up. The visiting team playing at the high school uses the cafeteria as their locker room and enters the field through our hallway. So we have to move tables and lay out tarps so the floor does not get damaged by cleats. We got it mostly right. Saw the custodians had fixed some of our work. Next time. Then after we got back to class one of the boys asked, "Are you going to have another skit at next week's assembly?" Next week we are having guest speakers on careers, so I told him not yet, but we could another week. Then he told me he wanted to do something. Remember when no one wanted to even read anything in front of the school?

Day Eighteen: The Return

O how I wish I had a camera this morning. During 1st period, several students came from the Spanish class to my lab to work on a skit for the assembly tomorrow on Mexican Independence Day. While I was working with them, my boys started looking through the costumes and trying them on. I think my favorite moment was when one boy had a red headband around his head and a shiny blue skirt on over his jeans. We did have a lot of fun coming up with ideas for the skit and playing with costumes. It gives me an idea for a project using the costumes to create characters. If this morning was any indication, these students love to play dress up.

2nd Period I worked with a few more students participating in the skits and talked a few of my own students into participating. Even the boy that I had to ignore in order for him to do his work volunteered to perform in front of the school tomorrow. I hope so much that they follow through. We are making the reenactment a little silly. We were trying to figure out how to portray the Spanish as bullies and why they wanted to control Mexico. They came up with a few silly reasons including better tequila. I think my favorite was, "We have to win or my wife will stop making me enchiladas!"

3rd period worked on more props and decorations for tomorrow. Yes, I gave them permission to make fake weapons from the 1800s. Now I just have to make sure that none of them disappear from my classroom. Eek. As a very important side note...my student that had disappeared came back today! He and his brother had found someone to stay with and told me they were working a lot. They came in on their day off and will be attending on a more flexible schedule. I was so incredibly relieved when I saw him this morning.

4th period one of my students finally returned from SMARTS. She seemed to be less defiant today. The dynamic of the class has changed dramatically with the addition of the last three students. Before they were one of the few classes willing to do theatre. Now I have a lot of work to do to rebuild a safe place and community. But change is constant here and my student's schedules will continue to change. Never a dull moment.

6th period is where everything went crazy again. The lovely girl who has been struggling and trying so hard to get attention from her classmates. There were a few problems at the beginning of class and I stepped out in the hallway for a few minutes to talk to her. She almost started a fight with another student. I was hoping to build some understanding and support with her. Didn't work so well. A few minutes later I had to take her cell phone (which was not only out but she was showing other students some video on it). Then I lent her the pass to go to the restroom. A few minutes later I received a phone call from another teacher saying she had come by his class UPSTAIRS and wanted to know if she was supposed to be there. I told him no and to go ahead and send her to the office. School was ending in less than 10 minutes at that point and then she wandered back in my room. Within another minute or so she hit the student she was trying to rile up earlier with her backpack and I told her that was it, I was contacting the office.

After school I went to check in with my supervisor and he pulled out a few chocolate bars to wallow in the challenges of the day. It was hilarious.

Day Seventeen: Pass Incomplete

The one girl that was added to my 1st period class came up to me this morning before school and told me her schedule had been changed again and she would now be in my 4th instead. They told her they were concerned she wasn't getting work done in a class with all boys. Why do they make it so hard for me to keep a straight face?

This afternoon is an Open House, which I'm not expecting to see any parents at in my room, so the students were on an early release schedule. Only four classes met today and each period was shortened.

I took my 1st period boys over to the woodshop to start getting it ready to use. They helped move boxes and charge battery packs for electric drills. They whined a little about getting dust on their clothes but other than that seemed to be happy to be in there. One of the boys was hiding in the hallway before school instead of in the cafeteria for morning assembly. He was caught by the hall monitor and ended up in the principal's office. He has been refusing to work and participate when he isn't ditching class.

2nd Period I had the students watch the first episode of The Booth at the End and answer some questions about it after. Most of the questions were about the characters, who they were, what they wanted, and what they would have to do to get it. I learned my lesson and had 3rd period write down the questions before it started so they could answer along the way. It helped them pay closer attention and to ask me what was going on. Note to self: keep students engaged by letting them know what to look for ahead of time.

4th period was a little crazy. The boy that was moved from my 1st period told me he wanted to try to get his schedule changed back. Thought 1st period was a lot better. And they have been better without any girls in there. It started out okay. We went over to the shop to finish up and have the girls sort through the costumes. A few seconds after I turned my back to talk to the girls I heard a loud noise. They were trying to play catch with a large bottle of wood glue and missed. It crashed on the floor and started spilling out. So I had the students responsible clean up while the rest of us went back to the regular classroom. They've gotten in the habit of not straightening things up at the end of the period throughout the day, and I knew that I had to have the room put together before the Open House. Then I had the students clean up the room. I didn't worry about whether or not they felt it was a punishment. Just glad I didn't have to clean up after them for once. :) We spent some time at the end of class doing a little team building. One of the students said, "Hey do you know that I'm a published author?" I told him that was awesome (instead of worrying about whether or not he was telling the truth) and asked everyone else to share a "Hey did you know...?" about themselves as well. I told them about being on the wrestling team in high school which shocked them. It allowed us to end on a positive note.

I just had a set of parents come by. Yay! Their son is in my 6th period. They spoke a little English (mostly Spanish), and seemed really anxious to hear how their son was doing. I told them he's been pretty good. A little antsy to leave by the end of the day, which they laughed at and totally understood. They asked if I would call them if he was causing any problems. It was so nice to see parents caring about their son's success. The kids often underestimate how much their parents really do care around here.

Another parent arrived with about 10 minutes left. Also a parent from my 6th period. His son has been doing a pretty good job in class. We had a funny conversation about kids that act on their best behavior at school, but not out of school. He said, "When they're around adults, they put their little halos on. Then they walk out on the corner and the horns come out."

I think the parents could use as much positive reinforcement as the kids.

...After I wrote this I went to a faculty meeting. I have a student that has not been to class for a while and one of the teachers asked if anyone knew what was going on. He had been doing incredibly well, I was building trust and respect with him, he was working hard and asking if he could come in at lunchtime to keep working. Finally someone filled us in. He and his brother were thousands of miles away from their parents. Recently they had been kicked out of where they were living. That night they slept in a park. The next day they were seen around 6pm rifling through the refrigerators in the teachers' lounge looking for food. No one has seen them since. I don't know what to hope the best case scenario is in this situation. I don't even know where to start. Tomorrow I am going to hang up his last project in my room so that I will remember him.

Day Sixteen: We're all in this together

This morning the students learned a lesson about consequences. The principal told them that yesterday one of our students left class, went over to the high school, and got in a fight with four or five students from the high school. Let's just say that the police had to get involved and the consequences for the student were not something I ever want to experience. As a result, hall passes were nixed for 3rd and 6th period for everyone. Not even to go to the bathroom. Yes. It sucks. One person really can ruin things for everyone else.

There is a girl now in my first period, but it still went well. Dynamic has changed only a little, thanks to the fact that she has a boyfriend. One of the boys turned a tower he was making into a scene from King Kong, adding little army men he found in one of the drawers around the building. He was so proud of himself. One of my students told me I looked different today, but wasn't sure why. At first I thought maybe I seemed tired or something from not getting enough sleep. At lunch I realized that I forgot to put on makeup this morning.

There is a girl in my 3rd period who is very shy but really tries and works hard. After class she came up to me and asked, "Is there a way that I can change into one of your other classes where they listen to you?" Yeah, you can keep laughing now. Somehow I managed to contain my laughter until I made it to the teacher's lounge. Probably my favorite quote from a student so far. By the way, they were pushing it, so they got the boring lecture today.

Fourth period I got a new student. It's my quietest class, and I wasn't sure how that would change things. However, I got everyone else started, sat down with her, and got to know her while I let her know how the class worked. It seemed pretty straight forward to her and she jumped right in and did everything I asked her to today. A good start for sure. Two of the boys though need to switch their schedule and might be changing into my 3rd period class. I'm really not a fan, but if that's what they really need...

6th period some of the students that were gone yesterday came back. Eek. And the class wondered why I was suddenly cracking down on them? Yeah. Because the other students are trying to get attention from you and preventing you from succeeding in the class. So yes, I'm going to say something.

This week's assembly was scheduled to be Mexican Independence Day and a presentation by some army recruiters. I found out today that the recruiters need to reschedule for next week. I have no idea how we are going to fill the time. Thank goodness for committees, right?

Day Fifteen: Thank you

I had a rough weekend. I came in to work this morning with a few things weighing on me. When I walked out of my class I ran into one of the other teachers in the hallway. She asked if I was okay and said I looked like I was sad. And if she could see it, the kids would see it. And if the kids saw it…. So I went back into my room for a few minutes, took a deep breath, and tried again. Time to lose myself in helping my kids.

First period is more of the same. One student has been missing a lot, another is coming but not wanting the work. The rest are content working away at building and painting. I need to teach them some design and technical theatre. I think they'll love it.

Later I had my other classes warm up with Ghosts in the Graveyard, then introduced them to image work. They were slow and unwilling in 2nd period, so I pulled out the dreaded Powerpoint and warned them that we could learn things the fun way, or the boring way. They were groaning five slides or so in and begging me to stop. I did a little more for good measure. Then went on to teach them about image work (kind of like creating human statues). The other classes were more willing and open and actually created a group image , taking turns adding to or replacing other students from the image. One class worked together creating an image of "The Streets" while another did "My House." There is an underlying violence in each of the ideas which is really interesting.

During my 5th period conference, I noticed a student in the hallway I had seen a few minutes earlier and figured that he was wondering around. I popped out and said, "Go to class." He ignored me and kept walking. So I walked along beside him. Then I asked for his name, then to see his ID. Kept walking. So I said I'd just keep walking with him. I asked where his class is. He said I'd find out when he walked in. I kept walking. And smiling. Then he stopped and introduced himself. He apologized and thanked me for the assembly on Friday. He that even though there were other students who did not take it seriously and laughed watching the planes hit the tower, it meant a lot to him. He lost somebody that day. When I asked he said he didn't like to talk about it, but mumbled something about an uncle. My heart broke for him, and I was reminded of how important what we do is. And we may not reach them all, but we can reach someone.

Day Fourteen: Day of Service and Remembrance

So I should probably clarify that the in-school suspension is referred to as SMARTS.

This morning, I had the following conversation with a student.

Me: Are you planning on finishing your project today so you can do improv with us?

Student: If I'm not in SMARTS.

Me: [Cue incessant laughter]

Student: What? [I laugh even harder]. No, I'm serious!

Me: I know, that's why it's so funny.

I found out that I am getting a girl in my 1st period class. Help us all.

I felt completely scatterbrained in my third period class. I was scrambling to answer student questions, set up for an assembly, talk with my supervisor, and get students started on an activity. Kaboom. On my wish list for next year? Conference during the period before assemblies. Not a life and death change that I couldn't live without. It would just be nice.

Our assembly today was about September 11th. Not the exciting entertaining or fast paced even like last week. Somber and serious. We started with this tribute:

We then shared some facts and statistics about 9/11. Many of these students had not even reached Kindergarten when it happened, and I was very proud of two of my students who read these in front of the school. Here is part of the full list, which can be found in an article in NY Magazine:

Death, destruction, charity, salvation, war, money, real estate, spouses, babies, and other September 11 statistics.

The initial numbers are indelible: 8:46 a.m. and 9:02 a.m. Time the burning towers stood: 56 minutes and 102 minutes. Time they took to fall: 12 seconds. From there, they ripple out.

• Total number killed in attacks (official figure as of 9/5/02): 2,819
• Number of firefighters and paramedics killed: 343
• Number of NYPD officers: 23
• Number of Port Authority police officers: 37
• Number of WTC companies that lost people: 60
• Number of employees who died in Tower One: 1,402
• Number of employees who died in Tower Two: 614
• Bodies found "intact": 289
• Body parts found: 19,858
• Number of families who got no remains: 1,717

I also shared with them the experiences of a family who recently lost their home in the recent fires. I edited it so it would be appropriate for school, but I highly recommend reading it yourself.

I introduced my students to a game called Quelf. I offered them 10 points just for playing, and another 10 if anyone won. It's normally a party game, but it uses skills so important to theatre. Working together, thinking quickly, creativity, story-telling, improvisation, listening, etc. Basically I tried to trick them into trying things they had been unwilling to try when in class normally. Often they would draw a card and take the penalty (going back 1-3 spaces) before doing anything potentially embarrassing, but I few of them totally went for it.

One of my students who didn't want to do the project came up to me before class and said, "I'm doing all my assignments so I can get credit for more than one class!!" Congratulations my friend. You've finally figured out how it works. The counselor told him that he could get credit for art, then get credit for theatre. It really is such a different model, but so good for these kids. And I keep telling them the same thing. The only way out is through. Put in the time. Put in the work. Get the credit. Graduate high school. Have more hope for a better future.

I really do love being a teacher. I'm developing talents I didn't know I had, facing shortcomings I wasn't expecting, and seeing people in a whole new light.

Day Thirteen: I Saw That

Morning Assembly. One of my students finally led the pledge AND spoke loud enough to be heard. Yay!

1st period. These boys. I tell ya. We're talking about September 11th and all they want to do is build the Twin Towers. At least they agreed to paint them. Why do I make plans? I did have a student refuse to take his headphones out when I was talking to them. School policy is that they are not allowed in class unless the teacher allows them. I've been letting them use them while working individually, but it's just rude to have them in when talking to people.

Most of the day today is a blur. I was so exhausted. So were some of my students and several other teachers. One teacher told me that usually happens during short weeks. I had students that were finished with their projects help create things we could put on the wall in the cafeteria during assembly on September 11th. I may have cried a little this morning watching some video clips I plan on showing tomorrow. I showed one to my first period and they said, "Turn it off, I'm going to cry!"

I have a few students that catch the city bus, so I let them leave a few minutes early to catch it. It only runs every 30 minutes, so I cut them some slack, especially since so many of them work after they get out of school. Today, I went to look outside my door to see what time was on the clock out there and saw that there was about a minute left. At that moment, I saw one girl I had been letting go early walk through the hallway and out the side door. I pointed at her, called her name, and let her know that I was no longer letting her leave early.

Progress reports are due tomorrow, and I just finished with grades. Today I had 3 new students show up, and as I was entering grades noticed several more I haven't met yet that I will need to enter (make up) tomorrow.

Day Twelve: Still Here. Still Smiling.

Ah first period. Such funny kids. A few of them were dragging their feet getting to work, but came back later in the day when they were sent to in school suspension. I made a deal with them that I challenged the other classes to. First class that gets all their students to 50 points gets a pizza party. Yes I will risk a little friendly competition. Besides, some of my classes have only 6 kids so I won't be out much when they win. I'm hoping that the stronger students will help motivate the others that have been lagging behind.

It seemed to help one of the boys in 2nd period. Half the class continued their projects while the rest helped me look through information about 9/11 for an assembly on Friday. It's amazing how much teenagers don't know about what happened or how it affects them today. It helped bring up a few good conversations. And yes, I do get excited when students will discuss ANYTHING with me. Oh wait, did you just answer a question?! Oh my goodness, did you just ASK me a question?! I think we need to have a party and celebrate.

Third period I have a really hilarious student. He doesn't want to do any art, just theatre. The rest of the class is working on their art projects, but he prefers playing with popsicle sticks and telling me he's not going to do anything. I let him know that he had the choice between joining everyone else, or I'd send an email and let the AP know what was going on. He's a good kid, just thinks that being a good kid allows him to be above the law. Then I told him I wasn't going to let him start doing theatre until he finished the project. I know. I'm evil. Right as I was telling him I was going to email the AP, the AP himself walked in the door. He likes to pop in classes, make sure the boys have their shirts tucked in (part of the dress code) and check to see how things are going. Apparently he is afraid of the AP. He went over and got to work, then begged me not to email him. I said, "I won't have to. As long as you keep working, there's no reason for me to say anything to him." Pretty simple deal.

As with everything else, I'm learning to enjoy things while they last. Mr. I Don't Want to Do Art Only Theatre got to work today, but who knows what will happen tomorrow. The young man that I had a great breakthrough with last week with his mom when he wrote a beautiful poem was the one who disappeared yesterday when my back was turned. I need to find a way to remind him that I support him and am here to help him succeed.

Another student I lent a copy of Sangre de un Angel to read and give me her opinion of after she finished her project. At the end of class, she asked if she could bring it back later. I guess it caught her interest. Did I mention she did a fantastic job on her project? She added some of her favorite quotes to her mobile and drew pictures that represented how she's feeling. I need to remember to take a picture of it tomorrow and post it.

And then there is another student who has done very little other than talk with his friends. I went by a few times to help steer him in a positive direction. He made slow but few steps. I stopped and talked to him for a little while. He told me things like "I just can't do art. I've already failed art twice." Well you are in my class now, and the only way to fail my class is to do nothing. Really. It's the only way. You don't have to be great to do well. Sure if you're talented you'll get more points and finish sooner. But I reward even trying. It may take a few more projects to earn the points, but you can totally do this. And I'm going to help you get there.

Fourth period I had a student from third period come in because he had been out a few days and wanted to get more done. Hey, he's building a plane out of popsicle sticks and it's looking pretty cool. Done and done. The rest of the class had finished so we watched a clip and used it as an introduction to evaluating performances, opinions, and the elements of drama.

Sixth period a few students were absent, while others were getting antsy. I had a fascinating conversation with some of the students. Have I made it clear that learning respect is important? One of my students was like, "Miss, do you realize what kind of kids go here?" I laughed. "Yes, yes I do." All the more reason to stick to my guns. My favorite part of the conversation was not what was said, but that the students were showing me respect (and I was showing them respect) while we were talking about it. I told them that if I taught them nothing else, I hoped to teach them how to treat people, to teach them things that will help them be successful in life. He asked me if I was going to stick around or quit, telling me that a few teachers last year left.

Nope. Not going anywhere. I told him that I like it here. And I'm not going to give up on them.

Day Eleven: Leave Them Alone and They'll Come Home

Students really are so very different. Figuring out what they need and how to motivate them is an art. Some do well if I stop by periodically to help them get back on track. But the young man in my 2nd period? I let them know at the beginning of class that we're moving on tomorrow so the projects should be finished today. He then makes a comment about not working, I ignore it, he gets to work, and finishes his project before the class is half over. Similar sequence of events with a girl in my 4th period. Gave me a lot of attitude on Friday, but I was nice and polite to her when bringing her folder to her and ignored her the rest of the time. Doesn't work for all of them, but more evidence for me in coming to understand your students.

Made the mistake of rinsing out a paintbrush today. When my back was turned, one of my students disappeared, along with the bathroom pass. I realized he was gone pretty quickly, called the office, and found out he was already there. Caught in the act.

I'm really struggling to be motivated to write today. I left early today when I found out a fire broke out a few miles from my apartment to go pack up the essentials. Several fires are burning in and around the city, one of which is still completely out of control. At least three teachers at my school lost their homes by lunchtime today, more had been evacuated. Two friends of mine had parents lose their homes and everything in them. They only had a five minute warning to get out.

Day Ten: Renewed

I'll be honest.  I started out the day a little discouraged.  The circus of 6th period weighed on me.  Then I took a deep breath and reminded myself that the reason that these students are here is because there has not been a teacher who has gotten through to them.  ANY victory or progress with these students is to be celebrated and remembered.

The first few periods were CRAZY.  Not because my students were out of control, but because the Spanish/P.E. teacher brought his class in as well.  They were performing a skit for the assembly today and he wanted me to help work with them on their performances.  Not a lot of time, but enough to help it to work.  They were going over the nonnegotiables on our campus in short little scenes.  I think mine and everyone else's favorite part came from my suggestion that during the one on fighting, one of the students punch out the coach.  They laughed so hard when he hit the floor, and if we didn't have their attention yet, we had it then.

The student I had the cell phone situation with last week is continuing to come around.  He stopped by today and asked about this powerpoint he showed me that he wanted to add stuff to.  He also apologized for last week.  He said that he had seen others take phones but not return them as promised.  He realized that for good and bad, I had been keeping my word and following through.

4th period?  She's in in-school suspension for a while.  Apparently I'm not the only teacher she doesn't like.

A few of the boys from first period stopped by with one of the O5ers who is no longer in my class.  He told me, "Hey, I'm not in your class anymore."  I let him know any points he earned I would hold on to, as well as his folder, for when he came back.  The other boys were just saying hi, and I couldn't help smiling inside.  They love to act so tough sometimes, but they were just so precious I almost teared up.

Ah, 6th period.  I cam ready for them today.  I found the most boring powerpoint I could on the elements of design and told them that for not working I was going to have them watch it and take notes.  After a lot of groans, they begged and pleaded and promised to work.  The worst offender yesterday was put in in-school suspension for a while, so I took them at their word and let them off.  However, I did not let them off in regards to the young lady who had been distracting half of them all week.  I had her sit up front at the desk alone and told them that anyone who talked to her would lose 5 points.  And if she talked to anyone she would lose 5 points.  One student was penalized fairly quickly, and they cooperated after that.  They assumed her deal was a result of an agreement with the VP.  Heh.  Didn't tell them it was just me experimenting with classroom management.  After about 15 minutes, she said "I've been good, can I go over there now?"  Nope.  Maybe if the rest of today goes well, we'll reconsider on Tuesday.  She frowned but went back to her seat.  She managed to survive the rest of the period, and get work done, and didn't prevent others from working, so I gave her the last 2 minutes of class to talk with them again.  I made sure to tell her from the beginning that this was not about punishing her, it was about wanting to help her and others do well in the class.  All of this was to be temporary, until we all got back on track with how things were going last week.  I ended my day with renewed confidence.

And we keep moving forward!

Day Nine: You Mean I Get Paid for This?

The first half of the day today was magical (even if there were a few sad moments).

1st period was so quiet today. Lesson learned: If you have a room full of boys, give them some sticks and some glue. Maybe some paint. It's like they turn into little boys playing with models and legos. I had one moment where I was a little horrified and heartbroken. The O5er in 1st that was really defiant last week was respectful and working yet again today. He started telling me about how he used to paint houses. He also told me he got in a fight with his dad. Not the kind of fight that we normally have with our parents. He also told me that he slept at a bus stop for a few weeks at one time. No way to know if it's true or not. And you wonder why I fight so hard to have at least my classroom be a safe place for these kids.

2nd period? So much better. The student that I had the confrontation with yesterday was totally fine today. He's getting closer to finishing school, so maybe something sunk in? He said he's going to do all his work because he wants to graduate. No idea if anything I said or did helped, or if it was something else. What I do know is that nothing is more motivating than self-motivation. He is at a point where he is driven to succeed not because of a reward he is going to get today, but for a long term hope of a better life.

3rd period I had a first. I told the students that they had 20 more minutes to work, and a few of the students were upset...because they wanted class to be LONGER. I even had a student ask if he could come at lunch to keep working, and another ask if she could come 6th period when she doesn't have a class. Can someone tell me what they put in the breakfast this morning?

4th period my girl that finally worked yesterday shut down today. Didn't want to work. Apparently class is boring...because none of her friends are in there. So, I left her alone again.

6th period turned into a zoo. What on earth happened? Had to send two students to the office after they were RUNNING through the room while others were using scissors. I have a parent/teacher conference with the boy and his mom tomorrow morning. It will definitely be interesting. In the midst of everything one of the boys snuck out of the room and walked outside the side door to the school. Luckily I was able to talk him back inside. Ah the joys.

P.S. I got my first paycheck yesterday!